🏳️‍🌈💕 Sam’s Guide to Gay Love Spells 💕🏳️‍🌈

If you do a quick Google search for “real love spell,” “magick love spell,” or any related search terms, you’ll find a lot of spells that use very similar symbols and correspondences. Red roses. Strawberries. The goddess Aphrodite. I don’t know about y’all, but those symbols strike me as inherently heterosexual. Maybe it’s growing up in a heteronormative culture, or maybe I’ve just seen one too many bad romantic comedies, but when I think about roses and strawberries, I think of a straight couple on a stereotypical Valentine’s Day date. And if you’re looking for something outside of that heteronormative mold, these traditional symbols can feel a little… limiting.

I did some research (A lot of research, actually. I made a whole YouTube video about it.) and put together some spells for nontraditional people seeking nontraditional relationships, whether it be a woman seeking a feminine partner, a man seeking a masculine partner, or someone who really doesn’t give a you-know-what about their partner’s gender.

A couple of quick notes: First, if you’ve studied any sort of magick system, you know that most people who practice magick do so with great respect for the free will of others. We don’t do magick that interferes with someone else’s ability to choose. Period. Because of this, it is NEVER okay to do a love spell on a specific person. It is NEVER okay to try to use magick to make someone love your or return your attraction. The love spells outlined in this post are intended to work with the energy of love, and they will automatically attract the right partner for you. It’s okay to have a few personality traits, or even physical traits in mind for your future partner (in fact, I encourage this — focusing your energy is easier if you have a clear idea of what you want), but not a real-life individual.

Second, the following spells are very basic and simple. I designed them this way because I want them to be accessible to people from all magickal backgrounds, no matter their level of experience. (And also because crystals, incense burners, etc. can get real expensive, real fast.) Feel free to personalize these spells in a way that suits your beliefs and preferences. If you want to cast a circle, cast a circle. If you want to call on your spirit guides for help, call on them. If you want to include crystals, go out and find the largest, most obnoxious chunk of rose quartz you can. Make the spell your own!

If you’re looking for ideas for how to personalize these spells, including deities, angels, saints, herbs, and crystals, check out my previous post about magickal correspondences for LGBTQ+ issues! 

 

A Love Spell For Lady-Loving Ladies

You Will Need: 

• A pink candle OR two pink female figure candles
• Jasmine oil for anointing candles (associated with feminine energy, sexuality, and attraction)
• Violets (have a long historical association with romantic or sexual love between two women, thanks to Sappho)
• Optional: patchouli incense (has both masculine and feminine qualities; associated with sexuality and attraction)

Casting the Spell:

• Begin by making sure you are in the proper head space for magick. You want to avoid bringing any negative energy into the work you are about to do. You may choose to cleanse yourself by taking a shower or bath, using sage or frankincense for a smoke cleansing, or by meditating with a selenite crystal.
• Once you are ready, light your patchouli incense, if you choose to use it. As you do so, focus on the sexual passion and strong emotional bond you want to share with your future girlfriend.
• Then take your candle (or candles) and anoint it with the jasmine oil. You can do this by simply dabbing the oil on the wick, or by rubbing it up and down the length of the candle. As you do this, imagine your body becoming charged with a sort of magnetic energy that will pull your future girlfriend into your life. (Note: Some traditions state that you must anoint the candle in an upward motion — moving from bottom to top — for attractive magick. Other traditions state that it doesn’t matter how you hold the candle as long as your hands are moving inwards, towards your body, as if they were physically pulling in the energy you want to attract. Personally, I believe that the actual motion used matters less than your intention. Just do what feels right for you.) 
• Place the candle in a candle holder or on a surface you don’t mind dripping wax on (paper plates can be a good way to protect tabletops!) and begin to carefully arrange the violets around it. How many or how few violets you use is up to you. As you place them around the candle, think of the sweet, pure, and faithful love that you and your future girlfriend will share.
• Light your candle and focus on the type of relationship you are looking for. Focus on the type of personality you want your girlfriend to have, the type of feelings you want to have for each other, and the kind of things you want to do together. You may want to speak your thoughts out loud by saying something like: “I have a girlfriend who loves me. We respect each other and support each other in following our dreams. She brings out the best in me.” (Note: Spells are always spoken in present tense, as if you have already received the thing you are manifesting. This is a sign of faith in the universe and in your own energy to give you what you want.)
• Wrap your hands around the candle (if using two candles, wrap one hand around each candle) and focus on transferring energy and intention from yourself, into the candle. It may help to imagine pure white light flowing through your hands, or to picture tiny bolts of lightning shooting into the candle. If you used a spoken spell, repeat it over and over until you fall into a rhythm. Feel the energy build, growing in size and power.
• You will know intuitively when the energy you have been building reaches its peak — when this happens, immediately release the energy and remove your hands from the candle. You may physically feel the energy rushing out into the world, or you may feel a bit lightheaded for a moment. Sit still until this passes.
• Be sure to ground and center yourself. You may even want to have a snack — magick can take a lot of energy out of you! Your part in the spell is over. You have put your energy out there, and it is now being sent into the universe to manifest your desires, amplified by the candle.
• Let the candle burn down completely. If you need to put it out and resume the spell later, for whatever reason, always snuff it out with a snuffer or wet fingertips — never blow it out! Snuffing out a candle is like putting the spell on pause — blowing on it ends the spell and scatters all of the energy you worked so hard to gather.

 

A Love Spell For Men Mad About Men

You Will Need: 

• A pink candle OR two pink male figure candles
• Lavender essential oil (has masculine energy, associated with love and fertility)
• Green carnations (associated with romantic or sexual love between men since the Victorian Era, popularized by Oscar Wilde)
• Optional: patchouli incense (has both masculine and feminine qualities; associated with sexuality and attraction)

Casting the Spell:

• Begin by making sure you are in the proper head space for magick. You want to avoid bringing any negative energy into the work you are about to do. You may choose to cleanse yourself by taking a shower or bath, using sage or frankincense for a smoke cleansing, or by meditating with a selenite crystal.
• Once you are ready, light your patchouli incense, if you choose to use it. As you do so, focus on the sexual passion and strong emotional bond you want to share with your future boyfriend.
• Then take your candle (or candles) and anoint it with the lavender oil. You can do this by simply dabbing the oil on the wick, or by rubbing it up and down the length of the candle. As you do this, imagine yourself planting seeds of mutual attraction that will grow into a beautiful, loving relationship. (Note: Some traditions state that you must anoint the candle in an upward motion — moving from bottom to top — for attractive magick. Other traditions state that it doesn’t matter how you hold the candle as long as your hands are moving inwards, towards your body, as if they were physically pulling in the energy you want to attract. Personally, I believe that the actual motion used matters less than your intention. Just do what feels right for you.) 
• Place the candle in a candle holder or on a surface you don’t mind dripping wax on (paper plates can be a good way to protect tabletops!) and begin to carefully arrange the green carnations around it. How many or how few flowers you use is up to you. As you place them around the candle, imagine them giving off soft, loving green energy that amplifies your own magick power and makes your spell more potent. This energy will act like a magnet, drawing the perfect man into your life.
• Light your candle and focus on the type of relationship you are looking for. Focus on the type of personality you want your boyfriend to have, the type of feelings you want to have for each other, and the kind of things you want to do together. You may want to speak your thoughts out loud by saying something like: “I have a boyfriend who loves me. We respect each other and support each other in following our dreams. He brings out the best in me.” (Note: Spells are always spoken in present tense, as if you have already received the thing you are manifesting. This is a sign of faith in the universe and in your own energy to give you what you want.)
• Wrap your hands around the candle (if using two candles, wrap one hand around each candle) and focus on transferring energy and intention from yourself, into the candle. It may help to imagine pure white light flowing through your hands, or to picture tiny bolts of lightning shooting into the candle. If you used a spoken spell, repeat it over and over until you fall into a rhythm. Feel the energy build, growing in size and power.
• You will know intuitively when the energy you have been building reaches its peak — when this happens, immediately release the energy and remove your hands from the candle. You may physically feel the energy rushing out into the world, or you may feel a bit lightheaded for a moment. Sit still until this passes.
• Be sure to ground and center yourself. You may even want to have a snack — magick can take a lot of energy out of you! Your part in the spell is over. You have put your energy out there, and it is now being sent into the universe to manifest your desires, amplified by the candle.
• Let the candle burn down completely. If you need to put it out and resume the spell later, for whatever reason, always snuff it out with a snuffer or wet fingertips — never blow it out! Snuffing out a candle is like putting the spell on pause — blowing on it ends the spell and scatters all of the energy you worked so hard to gather.

 

A Gender Indifferent Love Spell

You Will Need: 

• A pink candle (NOT a figure candle)
• Patchouli essential oil (has both masculine and feminine qualities; associated with sexuality and attraction)
• One red rose (feminine; associated with Venus, love, and sexuality)
• Coriander (masculine; associated with Mars, love, and sexuality)
• Optional: patchouli incense

Casting the Spell:

• Begin by making sure you are in the proper head space for magick. You want to avoid bringing any negative energy into the work you are about to do. You may choose to cleanse yourself by taking a shower or bath, using sage or frankincense for a smoke cleansing, or by meditating with a selenite crystal.
• Once you are ready, light your patchouli incense, if you choose to use it. As you do so, focus on the sexual passion and strong emotional bond you want to share with your future partner.
• Then take your candle (or candles) and anoint it with the patchouli oil. You can do this by simply dabbing the oil on the wick, or by rubbing it up and down the length of the candle. As you do this, imagine yourself becoming irresistibly attractive to your ideal partner. (Note: Some traditions state that you must anoint the candle in an upward motion — moving from bottom to top — for attractive magick. Other traditions state that it doesn’t matter how you hold the candle as long as your hands are moving inwards, towards your body, as if they were physically pulling in the energy you want to attract. Personally, I believe that the actual motion used matters less than your intention. Just do what feels right for you.) 
• Place the candle in a candle holder or on a surface you don’t mind dripping wax on (paper plates can be a good way to protect tabletops!) and begin to carefully sprinkle the coriander around it. As you do so, feel the strong, action-oriented energy building, preparing to go out and get you the person of your dreams.
• Remove the petals from your red rose and scatter them around the candle. As you do so, imagine yourself and your future partner together in lover’s bliss, completely head over heals for each other (in a healthy and autonomous way, of course).
• Light your candle and focus on the type of relationship you are looking for. Focus on the type of personality you want your partner to have, the type of feelings you want to have for each other, and the kind of things you want to do together. You may want to speak your thoughts out loud by saying something like: “I have a partner who loves me. We respect each other and support each other in following our dreams. We bring out the best in each other.” (Note: Spells are always spoken in present tense, as if you have already received the thing you are manifesting. This is a sign of faith in the universe and in your own energy to give you what you want.)
• Wrap your hands around the candle and focus on transferring energy and intention from yourself, into the candle. It may help to imagine pure white light flowing through your hands, or to picture tiny bolts of lightning shooting into the candle. If you used a spoken spell, repeat it over and over until you fall into a rhythm. Feel the energy build, growing in size and power.
• You will know intuitively when the energy you have been building reaches its peak — when this happens, immediately release the energy and remove your hands from the candle. You may physically feel the energy rushing out into the world, or you may feel a bit lightheaded for a moment. Sit still until this passes.
• Be sure to ground and center yourself. You may even want to have a snack — magick can take a lot of energy out of you! Your part in the spell is over. You have put your energy out there, and it is now being sent into the universe to manifest your desires, amplified by the candle.
• Let the candle burn down completely. If you need to put it out and resume the spell later, for whatever reason, always snuff it out with a snuffer or wet fingertips — never blow it out! Snuffing out a candle is like putting the spell on pause — blowing on it ends the spell and scatters all of the energy you worked so hard to gather.

 

Well, there it is. I hope this was helpful. If any of y’all are looking for that perfect Pride Parade date and decide to try one of these spells out, let me know how it turns out! And if you have your own love spells that you swear by, I would love to hear them! Also, let me know if any of y’all would like to see me do a video tutorial for one of these spells — if so, which one?